10 Quick Calm Down Skills
Knowing how to calm your nervous system when you’re frustrated, angry, or anxious is not only valuable but an essential life skill. It is like knowing how to use your emotional brakes—it doesn’t stop you from feeling, but it lets you slow down and steer instead of crashing.
Below are 10 effective, evidence-based strategies for calming down quickly when you feel dysregulated. These are designed to help both your body and mind return to a state where you can think clearly and act intentionally:
1. Pause and breathe deeply
Use box breathing (inhale 4 sec, hold 4 sec, exhale 4 sec, hold 4 sec).
This slows your heart rate and signals safety to your nervous system.
2. Remove yourself from the trigger
If possible, step outside, go to another room, or even just turn away.
Physical space gives mental space.
3. Ground yourself in your senses
Name 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, 1 you can taste.
This pulls you out of rumination and into the present moment.
4. Name the emotion
Saying to yourself, “I’m feeling frustrated” activates your prefrontal cortex, which helps regulate emotions.
5. Use cooling imagery or sensations
Splash cool water on your face or hold a cold drink.
Cooling activates the dive reflex, which lowers arousal.
6. Change your posture
Unclench your fists, drop your shoulders, loosen your jaw.
Your body feeds cues back to your brain—relaxing the body helps calm the mind.
7. Count backwards by sevens
Forces the brain to focus on a cognitive task instead of the emotional spiral.
8. Repeat a calming phrase
Examples: “This moment will pass” or “I can choose my response.”
Repetition anchors your mind.
9. Move your body
Walk briskly, stretch, or do a few push-ups.
Physical movement burns off adrenaline and tension.
10. Commit to a short delay before reacting
Tell yourself you won’t respond for at least 2 minutes.
This gap gives emotions time to subside and prevents impulsive words or actions.
Like any skill, these take practice. With repetition, they start to become second nature. Try one today!
